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The Soliloquy of a Sonador

Ever since you flew away,
I have been conjuring up your image.
In the midst of my thoughts,
you light up a smoke and offer it to me.
Everything ceases to be right, I palpitate.
I am supposed to be lonely as the cloud.
You make me forget the sound of fleeting music. 
In the background, a portly man laughs.
In a puff of drowsy numbness,
I catch a glimpse of your sparkling eyes. 

What are you, I wonder. How could you,
Love was it, then ? Like a waterfall in a desert ?
After that brief encounter, you vanished.
I looked at you as a figment of imagination. 
My body wore the tell-tale signs of time.
I believe I saw the best of dark and bright,
Or was it the crazy trick of reflection ?
One fine evening,you landed at my doorstep.
I was old and so were you. Beauty had
Served its purpose. My nest was empty. 
I had flowers at my feet,you were real. 

Sometimes I ponder about you. I should 
Have known. You were capable of hurting me. 
You were the nightmare I was waiting for.
Nubile I was,you played me well. Not that 
I was ignorant,I chose to feign it. 
You were the love of my life, Senhora. 
I had all the money in the world for you.
I still remember,the knife you held,
The blood it drew , the flinch I saw,
In your eyes. Irony loves to see another day.
I still wonder if it was a vision, or a 
waking dream. You still mesmerize me. 

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The lights are here, the music is here.
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Or maybe when it rained and it did not matter.
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Another journey, another dry spell. 
Will it ever be home again ? 

P.S. : Penned at Candies, Bandra on 11th January 2017